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Clearing the Clutter out of Your Personal Life

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CLEARING THE CLUTTER OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL LIFE

By Ramona Creel

When most of us think of clutter, we think of a physical mess -- A stack of paper on the desk, a pile of clothes on the closet floor, a garage we can't fit our car into. But clutter extends beyond your surroundings and insinuates itself into your personal life. Clutter is anything EXTRANEOUS or unnecessary -- anything that takes up time, space, energy, or money without giving you a tangible result. You've learned how to clear out the "junk" in your home and office -- now let's talk about cleaning out your personal life.

YOUR SCHEDULE

Take a look at your calendar and your "to-do" list -- how much of what you have written down is critical to your survival on this planet? Very little, I'm sure. How many of your appointments involve something that you dearly love to do. A great deal, I hope -- but if you're like most people, probably not. Unfortunately, most folks' schedules are filled with external obligations -- things that you have promised other people. "I have to pick up my kids from soccer practice." "I have to attend committee meeting." "I have to, I have to, I have to." Guess what -- you don't have to! You only have to do what you decide to do. If you don't want to do it, say NO.

I'm not suggesting that you turn completely selfish -- compromise is an important part of maintaining civil relations with those around you! I'm merely suggesting that you be very judicious about what you put in your schedule. Get rid of that knee-jerk reaction of saying "yes" everytime someone asks you to volunteer. It's all a matter of training the people around you not to automatically expect you to participate.

Didn't realize you could have clutter in your finances, did you? Take a look at your spending patterns -- do you see any money leaks? Money leaks are places where your hard-earned dollars are slipping away without you evenrealizing it. Your money leak could be buying snacks at work -- or late fees and interest charges that accumulate when you forget to pay your bills -- or groceries that go bad before you get a chance to eat them.

Try keeping track of every penny you spend for the next month -- that includes personal items, business expenses, snacks, whatever. This may sound hard, but it's not bad if you get into the habit of carrying a small notebook with you. At the end of the month, take a look at your expenses -- you'll be surprised to see where your money goes. Once you say, "My gosh, I had no idea I spent so much on magazines!" you know how to curb your money leaks.

YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

This is always a hard one. People feel trapped in relationships that are "less than fulfilling" for so many reasons -- low self-esteem, fear of change, habit, or just because it's easier than leaving. But most people stay in difficult relationships for one simple reason -- because they never stopped to think that they had another choice.

And I'm not just talking about seriously dysfunctional relationships -- ones involving substance abuse or screaming fits or violence. You might have a friend who complains about her life every time you're together. Or a family member who borrows money and never pays you back. The point is, you're not getting enough positive return out of the arrangement -- and something has to change.

So let's do the old "Keep," "Get Rid Of," and "Not Sure" with your relationship. "Keep's" are pretty clear -- those near and dear to you. "Get Rid Of's" might be a bit harder -- but you need to learn when to call it quits. If you can't think of anything good about the relationship, ask yourself why you really need that person in your life. The "Not Sure's" are those mixed relationships -- some things are good and some are intolerable. Your job is to present your concerns to the other person. Set up some RULES -- this certain thing has to happen more/less for this relationship to work. And be open to discussing the other person's rules as well. If you can reach a mutually satisfying agreement, dandy. If not, they go into the "Get Rid Of" pile.

YOUR JOB

Employment has become a institutionalized form of slavery in our modern society. Why do we feel we have no say over our work environments? That we just have to take what we get? Again, most people "put up with" their job situation because they never think to do otherwise. What kind of clutter could you clear out AT WORK -- cutting down on unneccessary meetings? Reducing the number of reports you have to generate? Handing a few of your menial duties off to an administrative assistant?

What do you think would happen if you approached your boss with a list of suggestions (in a pleasant and professional way, of course)? Would you get fired -- or would your employer take time to consider your needs? If you would get fired, maybe you don't need that job! It's worth a try, anyway. And if you're self-employed, pretend that you are taking a list of concerns to your boss -- would you look at your job duties any differently if you worked for someone else? Why don't you treat yourself at least as well as you would treat an employee?

YOUR OWN HEAD

We saved the most challenging area for last! How much "junk" do you have floating around in your head, littering your thoughts? People don't stop to think about emotions as clutter -- because they aren't tangible. But guilt, jealousy, anger, and unreasonable expectations of what we can accomplish in a day eat up as much of our time and energy as other forms of clutter.

Think about the last time you had something heavy on your mind -- did you get much work done that day? I'll bet that every time you set out to accomplish a task, you were distracted by your thoughts. The only way to make these bad boys go away is to become CONSCIOUS of them. Pay attention when your mind strays to some unproductive and negative emotion -- and make a concerted effort to let it go. This will take some practice -- awareness of your mental state doesn't happen in a day -- but it will pay off in the end.

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Ramona Creel is Professional Organizer, NAPO Golden Circle Member, and the original founder of OnlineOrganizing. A former Social Worker, she has always enjoyed helping people find the resources and solutions they need to improve their lives. Ramona now travels the country as a full-time RVer, sharing her story of simplicity with everyone she meets. She leads by example -- having worked for more than 10 years as a Professional Organizer, and having radically downsized and simplified her own life as a full-time RVer. Ramona now considers herself a "Renaissance Woman" -- bringing all of her passions together into one satisfying career. As both a virtual and traveling organizer, she can create a customized organizing plan for your home or office, put on a workshop, or educate you through one of her popular teleseminars. As a simplicity coach, Ramona provides a proven program for making every area of your life a little bit easier -- perfect for those who want to make the time and space to focus on their true priorities. As a Professional Photographer, Ramona captures powerful images of places and people as she travels. And as a freelance writer and blogger, she shares organizing techniques, social commentary, travel tips, and film reviews with others. You can see all these sides of Ramona -- read her articles, browse through her photographs, and even hire her to help get your life in order -- at www.RamonaCreel.com.�

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ENDING THE MORNING MADNESS

By Ramona Creel

Back-to-school time - what does that mean to you? For some people, it's shopping for school supplies, gearing up for PTA meetings, and artwork taped to the refrigerator. For others, it's the beginning of a constant struggle to get everyone up, ready, and out of the house on time. Morning should be an enjoyable time for you and your kids - not a battle of the wills or a race against the clock. But you can make the "morning mambo" go a lot smoother, with a little advance preparation and some good organizing techniques!

GET READY THE NIGHT BEFORE (OR SOONER!)

How much of your AM stress is caused by rushing around at the last minute taking care of routine chores? Getting ready in the morning can be so much easier if you start working on it the night before. Have your children spend 15 minutes before they go to bed packing everything they need for school into their book bags. Ask your kids to pick out the clothes they plan to wear and lay them out on a chair. Put together everyone's lunches and store them in the refrigerator overnight. One of my clients finds it easier - with four kids to get ready in the morning - to plan out a week's worth of lunches each Sunday. She fills 20 paper lunch bags with non-perishable foods - juice boxes, chips, fruit - and labels them with the child's name and the day of the week. Then each morning, all she has to do is add a sandwich or soup and hand it to the right child. And while she's preparing lunches, her kids are putting together a week's worth of outfits together in their closets. Mornings are now a snap at her house!

Planning ahead is especially important for bigger projects. How many times do you find yourself making a last-minute batch of cupcakes or sewing a costume for the school play 15 minutes before little Johnny is supposed to leave the house? As soon as you find out about a special event at school � a field trip, a class party, an awards banquet � you should note three different dates on your calendar. Mark the date you will buy the supplies, including a list of everything you need to get. Mark the date you will start your preparations - which could be days or weeks ahead of time, depending on the size of the project. Then mark the date the event occurs, with a list of everything you need to send to school with your child. The more you spill out of your head and onto your calendar, the less likely you are to forget something important.

CREATE A "LAUNCHING PAD"

How many attempts does it take for you to herd your brood out of the house in the morning? As you steer everyone toward the door, a small voice says, "I forgot my lunch." You go back, finding the stray lunch bag on the kitchen counter. On your second time out, someone else pipes up, �Where are my library books?� A short search locates them under the sofa. You try a third time, only to hear the words, "I left my homework on the dining room table." This can go on for days! Some mornings seem like a comedy of errors - the Three Stooges in miniature. But it�s not particularly funny when you find yourself running 45 minutes behind, the kids have missed the bus, and you have to drive them to school. Now they are going to be late for class, your schedule is thrown off for the day, and everyone is in a bad mood. How can you prevent this scenario from repeating itself over and over again?

The key is to set up a "launching pad" - a table, chair, basket, or other container located near the door. When your children gather up their school supplies the night before, have them place their book bags at the "launching pad." If your kids can't remember what they might need, create a standard checklist for them - homework, band instrument, gym clothes, sports equipment, supplies for any extracurricular activities, library books, whatever. You can even make a note of where they tend to leave things if that helps - "Gym Clothes: check the laundry basket." The goal is to make sure that everything they need for school is in one place when it comes time to leave. Then, your children can simply grab their bags on the way out of the door, instead of playing hide-and-seek with their school supplies.

DEVELOP A ROUTINE

Kids - particularly small children and those with ADD/ADHD tendencies - need a lot of structure to be able to function effectively. But in our fast-paced society, few adults even make time for a stable daily routine in their own lives. We go ninety miles an hour, grab quick meals on the way from one activity to the next, stay up late to get it all done, and wake feeling exhausted the next morning. Worst of all, we're teaching these unhealthy habits to our kids. It's time to reverse the "rush" now, before these behaviors set in.

Start off with a consistent schedule for going to bed - one that allows your children a full eight hours of sleep. Hitting the sack at 7:00 one night and 10:00 the next is hard on a child's body and keeps your little one from developing good nighttime habits. Also pay attention to what your kids do before they retire for the evening. There is nothing that feels less like going to sleep than blasting monsters on the Nintendo for hours and then being abruptly rushed off to bed! Developing a relaxing routine - a warm bath, brush your teeth, read a story, then lights out - will help both you and your kids unwind and sleep easier.

A solid routine in the morning is just as important. Again, there is nothing more unpleasant that being hauled out of bed and immediately thrown into turmoil. You can help your kids - especially your sleepyheads - get in gear by developing a schedule that gradually increases their activity level as the morning progresses. And give yourself some "buffer" time for getting ready. Letting your kids sleep until the last possible minute is just asking for a rushed and stressful morning. Although they will probably complain, get them out of bed so that they have time to spare - even if the toaster explodes, Sally can't find her shoe, and the car won't start!

STARTING THE DAY OFF RIGHT

So often in these busy and stressful times, we feel at the mercy of the world around us. But your morning routine is one area of life that you control completely. You make the choice about what kind of day you will have - one that begins calmly and with quality family time, or one that starts off crazed and goes downhill from there. And back-to-school is the perfect time to start etching those positive routines into stone - before the bad habits start up again. So take a moment to ask yourself - when the first day of school hits this year, what kind of day will you have?

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